oh dear

im not really sure exactly what i want to write in this blog.. ive got no picture no reason to actually write, just writing because really i've just got a lot on my mind. i just came back from a party. was pretty good, now i just feel i have to write. do you ever feel like you just dont know anymore, you dont know if its worth waiting, standing by, making an effort, and you should just let go? do whatever. its severe., confusion in my mind, its like ive got too much, and i just want to let go, not worry, and just have everything in my control, no one elses, no looking out for others that may or not be worth it. i dont know, this state im in is causing me to question whether or not everything is worth it,. and what is everything? i need to find that out first.................